Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Confessions of a "Good Mother"

I know this isn't what you bargained for on a stamping blog, but can I dump for a minute? I am not waiting for you answer, so I hope it is yes, LOL.

Some people say that the mark of a "good mother" is having a guilty and troublesome conscience? Well I am the "best mom in the world" today. My daughter screamed all morning starting at 5:30 am. It started because she doesn't eat well and only wants what she wants (oh and I blame stupid Daylight Savings Time too, since she is now getting up an hour earlier than usual). In an effort to get her to eat more rounded meals, for breakfast we gave her half a waffle with pb (usually gets a whole) and couple strawberries cut up with banana slices. I walk over 5 minutes later, baby crying and find the waffle eaten the banana on the floor and the strawberry untouched. Funny thing, she likes strawberries and bananas (one of few things she will actually eat), but she wants more waffle with pb. I can tell she doesn't want to get up from the table, but she doesn't want what she has. We are trying to be consistent about our message and feel that she need not be so picky, so I pick her up thinking, "if she is really hungry, I can put her back in a few minutes and she will eat what's there." WRONG!!! She screams and screams and screams, despite our attempts to calm her down, doesn't want to get dressed, doesn't want to do anything. Finally she calms down but just wants to be held, "NO don't move, don't try to dress me or do anything for yourself like brush your hair, don't give me to dad cause your the nuturing one, just sit still or I'll scream some more !" I am sitting in my robe, hair still wet and unbrushed. I know she is as frustrated as I am because she can't communicate her needs yet (only 16 mos and only a few words) and I want to hold and comfort her, I know she wants me in the moringing, but I need to get ready or my husband is going to be late. I try to sit her down to eat again, bad move, screaming. My husband wants to give her the other half of the waffle and I say, "don't give in, consistency counts!" He frowns and relieves me by picking her up and the screaming continues. He finally gets her to calm down by sitting on our bed in a dark room and just holding her and talking quitely. What a good dad. I am finally ready by 6:20 in the morning, we're in the car and she's quiet. We go to daycare and she is happy to be there with the other kids, it is good to see her happy. Back in the car, I silently sob because I don't actually feel like a "good mother" despite my attempts to be. But again, some people say it is exactly that, thinking about what to do better and how to do it, that makes me "good". I hope they are right!!

Here is the *mostly" sweet girl :) on the Oregon Beach for the first time.


MaryJo Marshall said...

Sounds like you could use a (((HUG))). You are a good mom. I often feel that way also and my "children" are now 19 and 21. We are going through some "times" with my 21 y/o son right now and I have been feeling like a really bad parent lately. We have had to do some "tough love" things with him but I think it will work out for the best in the long run. Just take a deep breath, this too shall pass! maryjo

Anonymous said...

Hey Katie, sorry about your day! I had a tizzy with my 16 y/o daughter because she didn't want to get off the computer and go shopping for a baby shower gift for her youth leader today. She had just told me about the shower, which started an hour later and I had not even bothered w/ make-up today, but was willing to go to Target anyway and risk being seen to get her a gift. I pretty much forced her to go, but I think it's important to show up to such an event and be prepared. This lady is the best thing for their youth group and deserves so much. Of course, an appropriate card was already made and she just had to write something in it. It ended up ok, I think. She'll be home soon and I'll get to see how it went! Hugs, Jackie

Anne Claire A. said...

thank goodess i'm not the only one this happens to. i'm thankful for the wonderful husbands who help make things better.